As I was writing this month’s blog, Taming the Temptress, the topic of contrast and duality arises to the surface. That place where we experience, learn and grow from the opposite of our desire, but with it is the opportunity to discover greater strengths and gifts in the process of pain, or even loss.
I feel called to write a Blog to the Blog, sharing more of my personal experience in discovering what temps me away from what I truly desire.
Life itself is based on contrast …from Beginning to End…from Birth to Death.
I read Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ book, On Death and Dying, in my early twenties when taking a psychology class on the topic. I remember people saying it sounded so morbid. But in reality, the whole experience for me was really about LIVING…living now in the moment versus waiting for a wake up call of impending death, or some sort of loss, to start really exploring life as desired.
I bring up the 7 Stages of Loss as a reminder that loss can come in many forms, such as relationships, finances, health, natural disaster, etc. Loss is also not one-dimensional, following a specific sequence. The emotions can be jumbled together and last as long as is needed for healing to occur:
Shock/Disbelief – it can’t be happening
Denial – it’s not true
Anger – it’s not fair
Bargaining – if you give me this and I will give you that
Guilt – it’s my fault
Depression – feeling overwhelmed, unable to resist any longer
Acceptance/Hope – learning from the lessons of life and going forward with integrity
What is important with the topic of Taming the Temptress is if you find yourself in these emotions, you may seek relief through practices that don’t serve your highest and best in riding the emotions out or even healing them. Instead, you may be feeding, escaping, avoiding, not listening, not looking, or some other form of “self-medicating” to not feel the pain.
The deeper and conscious question Taming of the Temptress asks each of us in looking at our daily practices, habits, behaviors, and values is “am I using this to stay in denial or to reduce any pain/drain of energy/anger/loneliness/feeling of not enough/guilt/depression/or grief?”
Don’t misunderstand my intention here. It really is okay to EN-JOY chocolate, wine, shoes, clothes, jewelry, love-making, working out, driving nice cars, etc. and spending time, energy and money on things that truly align with your values and bring you greater en-JOY-ment.
However, the Temptress’ way is about Temp-orary relief, or using behaviors and habits to escape versus doing the work of healing/growing. The biggest contrast is when such behaviors start to control you and negatively affect your health, your relationships, and your life.
My discovery is that the Temptress shows up when I am over-tired, over-giving, pushing into the Strong/Running Woman (an earlier blog), not stopping for breaks, or self-care. I hear my my body’s request for rest, for food, for water; my hearts request to spend more time with friends; or my souls desire to be in nature, but I over-ride it to get done that “one-more-thing” that needs to get done. She…the Temptress…typically temps me into missing lunch, or pushing to work until 7 when two hours earlier I was feeling myself winding down. By the time I get home I am overly exhausted. I grab nuts or chips to feed my energy drain while fixing dinner. So if I look closely, her gift of contrast to me is revealing when I am…
- Not giving to myself…either self-care or self-love…as I may do for others.
- Out of alignment with my values, my philosophy, my purpose, my passion and my practices of self-care.
- Not planning or preparing enough for extra-long days at the office by taking more breaks, or having more protein rich foods for lunch, or bringing quick snacks to have in the afternoon (i.e. smoothies, apples, carrots/celery, coconut water), or even bringing a salad to eat before going home.
- Out of alignment with the energy exchange within myself. Really it isn’t about the food, as much as it is about me becoming overly drained energetically and then finding quick ways to rejuvenate the loss. Or better yet, the gift of contrast is discovering how to NOT get overly drained in the first place!
The Temptress begs us…or temps us… to ask the question, what do I really need? Or what do I really value? What is my body, heart, and soul really saying that I am not stopping to listen to? What will re-energize or rejuvenate me and bring me into alignment with LOVE?
What en-JOY-ment am I really longing for? What do I really want? What will re-energize and rejuvenate me? Do I want chocolate, or do I want to sit out in the sun? Do I want shoes, or do I want to be out in nature and fresh air? Do I want chips, or do I want to spend more time socializing, or have coffee while chatting with a friend?
Just as we experience the differences in hot/cold…sun/moon…light/dark…etc./etc….Life grants us the opportunity to learn by contrast. So does the Priestess and the Temptress. The Temptress is the contrast, or dual nature of the Priestess teaching us through contrast. Neither good, nor bad…positive or negative…just opposite of what one may truly desire.
I hope this month’s blog…Taming the Temptress…and the addition of Blog to the Blog, will inspire you to look at your practices, your preparation, and how to stay on purpose with your values…Body, Heart and Soul.
If you would like to embark on greater awareness and transformation with Taming the Temptress, feel free to reach out to me and request a complimentary consultation.
I am honored to be of service as you explore the contrast of the Priestess and Temptress in bringing clarity to your values, your life, and living in alignment with LOVE!
Love & Hope, Dr. Cheryl XOXO