“A SISTER is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a GOLDEN thread to the meaning of Life!” ~ Isadora James
Who supports YOU???
Several years ago I was visiting my sister and we went together to one of my mentor’s studio for additional chiropractic training. My mentor asked me to bring a person to work on, and my sister who has always been willing to support me, volunteered. What I didn’t realize at the time, was how this training would turn into a healing session for myself.
Needing a break from the learning, we stepped barefoot into the backyard garden, past the beautiful stone statue and sat together with the sun shining down, warming our faces, with beautiful, peaceful music playing from the portable speaker.
I remember having my eyes closed and being asked to take my breath through my body and down into the earth. From there I was to bring it back to my womb. I continued to breath, keeping the breath in my belly, allowing my pelvis to rock back and forth with the inhalation and exhalation. There was a moment as if the music brought forth in my vision an old woman; she was as old as the earth, a very ancient grandmother, holding knowledge that she had been keeping in reserve for just the perfect moment in time. But she wasn’t giving up the knowledge, she was drumming, simply drumming, over, and over, and over again…and again. She was drumming as if it was “a way” of calling forth and inviting me somewhere. What the invitation was, or where I was being lead, I didn’t know?
Then the song “Amazing Grace” by Paul Schwartz came on… And…something, something I have no words to describe, deep inside of me, shifted. I have no idea why I cried as I did. It was as if the tears came out of no where and flooded my being as I heard the music and words of this song. I couldn’t stop and I couldn’t explain. My vision changed from seeing this ancient grandmother to seeing an image of my maternal grandmother and aunt together, both who had long passed over. Seeing their images while hearing a song that I only remember hearing in church, or hearing my aunt sing when she came to visit. As easily as they appeared, their images shapeshifted into an exquisite golden goddess…she was pure gold with multiple arms and I felt I was looking directly at Lakshmi…the Goddess of Wealth & Beauty…or Kuan Yin…the Goddess of Compassion & Unconditional Love…or even Shakti…the Divine Feminine Creative Power herself…or a combination of the three.
My mentor asked what was I experiencing? I couldn’t explain. There were no words I could find and I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to share. I had no idea what just emerged and why this was happening???
Later that evening, my sister and I sat on the couch back at her home. Again, I cried. I cried more than I think I had ever allowed her, or any of my siblings, to see. Crying was something I kept from them. If I cried I wouldn’t be big and strong like the older ones, who towered over me at 13, 10, 9, and 8 years older. I would be exposing my soft side, my under-belly and my vulnerability. For some reason, I couldn’t hold it back any more. We talked about transitions and my life going forward. I remember the fear of “making a mess” of my life in creating this next half of my life. “Making a mess” was a childhood memory. I felt I was being scolded by my dad for putting crackers in my chicken noodle soup and then waiting patiently, and eagerly, to eat it with him when he arrived home for lunch. It was the dynamic forces of my Heart and of his Logic, colliding. There was an innocent imprint that created the false belief of not trusting my heart. The false perception that I needed to be careful of the choices I made from my heart. This wound that appeared to be true that I needed to fear my heart making a mess.
However, the gift that was coming from this wound being laid open was Spirit telling me from the conversation with my sister, was that sometimes, we as women, need our “SISTER SUPPORT” in healing and to “UNMASK THE MASK” that hides the pain in order to get to our inner light. We need our biological sisters, our sister friends, and our feminine tribe in community to support us when we dive into the “WOUNDS OF THE WOMB,” the wounds of our feminine nature. We need to unmask the mask that we show the world which hides our pain. We ultimately need to remove the mask in order to heal the wound and to get to our true nature, our truth, our heart, and our radiant light.
With this last month having International Women’s Day, I felt it poignant to share SISTER SUPPORT with one of my own healing experiences. I also share this for the healing of women, individually and collectively, as well as for healing the WOUNDS OF THE WOMB that exist in the energetic field of our culture.
WOUNDS OF THE WOMB can exist at any point in time. They can be from feeling abandoned, unworthy, shame, not enough, competition, etc. They can arise from the mother, how she was mothered (or fathered), how she was raised and cared for (or neglected) as a little girl. It can come from choices as a woman, especially as it relates to her womb, with sexual partners, birth control, abortion, pregnancy, and/or birth. It can come from the lack of choice, or power, through molestation, incest, rape. It can come when a woman experiences stresses, whether physical, emotional, mental, biochemical, environmental, or even spiritual while pregnant. The fetus is bathed in the womb by the mother’s experiences via her nerve system and energetic field. There are so many ways that wounding can occur and we may not even be aware, or we have forgotten as the wound has been buried. It may be a generational pattern that does not seem to have a beginning that can be recalled.
When I went home and listened to the CD of “Amazing Grace,” it never failed…I kept seeing my grandmother and aunt…and I kept crying, deep felt tears. Why this was happening, I believe, was because I was tapping into the energy my mother felt when she was pregnant with me. She wasn’t sure she wanted anymore children….she already had four. If that wasn’t enough, her mother was dying of lung cancer. It was a time when the family was moving from North Carolina to California because my father, being in the military, was being stationed to Castle Air Force Base. Moving across country is stressful by itself. Now add on top of it four children, another on the way, and knowing your mother has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. What is critical to my mother’s story, and for me, is that she always had the support of her mom and sister when she was pregnant, and when she gave birth. With my dad was oversees in WWII, she always had these women there, not only in the day-to-day of living life, but especially with the birth of the first three children. Although Dad was home for the birth of my brother (number 4), grandma and auntie still came to SUPPORT their daughter and sister. As for my birth, grandma was unable to attend my birth due to her declining health. However, my aunt still came and was there with SISTER SUPPORT for my mom and family.
So what does this all mean? It means my mother needed her SISTER SUPPORT more than ever when I was born. Her mother died when I was 6 months old on the birthday of Chiropractic (September 18th)….interestingly!!! She didn’t go back to see her mom, or to attend the funeral, because she was uncertain how it might impact me as a baby. I believe she choose to use the WOUND and loss of her mother to become the LOVE & SUPPORT just as she had been given…to live by the example she was given and to give it unconditionally to her own children and grandchildren. She found a way to transform whatever WOUNDS OF THE WOMB she held into “a new way” that gave support to all her children and the generations to come.
I am so blessed to have a loving mother and sister that supports me just as mom had. And, YOU??? Who supports YOU??? Who supports YOU in your healing, in your transitions, and in your journey of simply living life in the ups and downs, in the celebrations and in the uncertainty?
With the theme of the Feminine Rising with honoring International Women’s Day this month, I don’t see it as a revolution of women against men, or the energy of feminine against the masculine, or even the need to rise and prove women are equal to men. In fact, women and men BOTH need balanced feminine and masculine energy to be whole. However, women are different. A difference, humanity needs to remember and celebrate. Women are portals to birth souls into the world through the womb. We need to remember that, celebrate that, to honor that and always support with each other.
Let us also start to reward the feminine energy of creating, birthing… whether it’s spiritual beings, a creative project, or a business….nurturing, receiving, intuition, listening and acting from the heart & soul. Let us reward taking time out to heal, rejuvenate, and for sacred self-care. Let us, as a culture, think of living in a way that is LIFE promoting and supporting, from the values of our heart, our truths, from love, from the journey, and from our philosophy or the “causal factors”….. not just from productivity, the “net effect” or simply the final result without considering what is being put into the process.
SISTER SUPPORT is an opportunity to find your support in healing yourself, other women and in healing the hearts and wounds of ALL people. I want to leave you with the thought and image of SISTER SUPPORT as women being PILLARS to each other, to future generations, to supporting the world, and a new way of living that holds the heart as it’s truth and guiding light.
Think of how the women who came before you supported each other? Hear the stories in your family and ask if there are WOUNDS OF THE WOMB that run from generation to generation? Are there stories of healing of the women that allowed you to follow a different path, or gave you support that you didn’t realize? Were there patterns, or beliefs, passed from grandmother, to mother, to daughter that you have not seen? Patterns that serve you? Patterns that no longer serve? Look close to UNMASK THE MASK of your pain, or those of generations. See the support that you may not have realized existed, or seek and ask for the SISTER SUPPORT you need in your process of healing and journeying through the good times and hard times. As one heals, the opportunity to heal each other is possible. As the present is healed, so is the past, and a new possibility for the future is opened up. The healing allows us the potential to birth a new humanity…ONE of the Heart & Soul…for women and for men…..for our daughters and for our sons.
For more information on how we might work together in SISTER SUPPORT and the Way of the Feminine Force, feel free to request a complimentary consultation so we can explore the possibilities.
This blog is dedicated as a gift of healing for the WOUNDS OF THE WOMB and for all SISTERS of the world to unite in Love & Support! Thank you for leading the way to the many generations in my family…especially my grandmother, mother, aunts, sister & daughter!
From ALL of Our HEARTS to Yours,