“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the World. Today I am Wise, so I am changing Myself.” ~ Rumi
My Story & Way of Living had become a race, you could easily call me “Running Woman.” I use to literally hit the ground running with my jogging shoes as I stepped out the door to start my day. Seeing the sun come up, while moving my body fueled me with joy… body, heart, and soul. However, it turned into a pattern of “my life running me.” It escalated following my divorce, and then I added multiple roles, such that the “Strong Woman” emerged to carry all the responsibilities I felt upon my shoulders. It continued for 20 plus years, running between multiple part-time jobs, to multiple graduate studies, to my daughter’s school events and activities, trying to fix healthy meals, managing a household, business, and still working out for my own sanity and self care. Then I hit the wall…..I had been running and pushing, far too hard, and for too long.
I remember sitting up in bed on a Saturday morning, crying uncontrollably as I looked around my bedroom, alone in an empty nest….except for the cat. I just moved my daughter back to her second year of college five hours away and was a few years into the 50-something decade. For weeks I was waking up every 1-2 hours all night long. I wanted desperately to take a month off and sleep on the beach. But how? First, I was concerned about letting everyone else down…I was to be president of my networking group; there were clients to see; no one could take care of the business, and there were bills to pay. How could I ever fulfill my dream of making a difference in the world, take myself and my daughter on vacation, all while staying sane and healthy myself? How could I re-create the next half of my life feeling joy, purpose, passion, and fully share my talents? Really??? All I wanted to do was pull the sheets over my head and sleep. Some days I just didn’t even want to wake up.
I knew if I were to go to the medical doctor, the offering would be hormones, anti-depressants and a diagnosis of menopause, adrenal fatigue, hormonal imbalance, leaky gut, depression, and who knows what else? I had to find Another Way! My body, my head, and my soul were all sending me messages that everything in my life was out of balance and I was on empty. Energetically, I felt menopause, really meant “moment-to-pause.” It was time to pause and find a New Way of Living. I desired for Spirit to guide me, to have my heart return to Joy, to find a Pathway that allowed me to move through my day with ease, grace, and elegance in body & soul; and to be the Ultimate Gateway for the creation of my dreams.
I was inspired by all the re-writes of the fairy tales, especially Snow White & the Huntsman, Maleficient, and Ever After. I saw women with hearts that were full of Integrity, Love, Compassion that could heal others, or even heal themselves. They were Fierce and Bold, standing up for what they believed in for their kingdom. It seemed like forces of nature rallied around them. The people and support came at the right time when they needed it. The Divine appeared to answer the call of their hearts’ desires and despite adversity, they reclaimed their Way of Living and their throne.
YES, YES, YES! That is what I desired, a new Way of Living, as a Joyful Woman and a Bold Feminine Force in Body, Heart, & Soul! I desired to re-write the last half of my life’s story differently than the first half. I imagined my walk on the Earth as a Force of Nature, in union with the Divine as my Life Partner with Joy every day, to move with Grace and Ease in my body, to create greater Abundance in all areas of my life, to have Support from others, and to have the Freedom to schedule my time for work, play & fun!!!
In the end, because in “The End” all we have left is Our Story, I desired to have made a difference in my own Heart, the Heart of Humanity & leave a Legacy for my daughter which would be greater than money…..A Way that she knew she could create “her own life”…no matter the circumstances, challenges, unpredictability, or impermanence of life…to include ALL the abundance her Heart desired, re-align to her JOY & accept nothing less!!!
So, in The End, what will YOU have experienced & what will you leave for others to remember from”Your Story?” Hmmm…. Is it time to start a New Way of Living and re-writing???